This blog is not intended to be used to diagnose or treat any mental disorder. If you have mental health symptoms, please discuss them with a licensed mental health professional or your primary care physician.
You and TO DO
Prioritizing yourself in an era of exhaustion
It seems generally accepted in the U.S. that many people create a to-do list because he/she needs to accomplish lots of things, meet deadlines, or fulfill goals. There appears to be some benefit to putting thoughts to paper to help organize, clarify, and prioritize these tasks. It also seems true that in asking people how they are doing these days, I hear “exhausted,” tired” and “worn-out,” more than any other responses. Does any of this sound familiar?
All this got me thinking - I wonder what is on everyone’s to-do list? Why are we all so tired, worn-out, and exhausted? Then I realized, it wasn’t what was on our to-do List, it’s what is NOT on our to-do List that is the problem.
Prioritizing You
Indulge me, please. Get out your to-do list - or are you one of those people who is too busy for a to-do list? Are you so busy that if you saw everything you needed to-do on paper it would completely overwhelm you so you don’t even bother to write the list? Admittedly, I might be one of these people, but today is a new day. True story, today, you are going to make it on your own to-do list!
“Uggg, why would I be on the to-do list,” you might be asking? Great question. I mean other than the obvious - it is your list. So here it is… YOU are the motor to this list and if you aren’t running in tip-top shape, odds are the wheels are going to fall off, so to speak. Also, you need to be on this list because you are worth it. You have inherent value because of who you are. You are the only YOU in the world. Taking care of yourself helps to build self-worth and self-value and it helps to energize you so you can grow into the best version of you were designed to be. It is also nearly impossible to have energy, empathy, and compassion for others if we are running on empty. Song of Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” NIV. In short, you are WORTH it.
“Song of Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” NIV.”
A Quick Check in with Yourself
So whether you write your list, type your list, talk to text your list, or keep your list in your head… here is how to put yourself on it. First, do a quick daily self-wellness check by asking yourself these or similar questions each day:
How am I feeling physically?
For example: On a scale of 1-10 I feel like a 5 because I’m stressed at work and not sleeping well, but things are going well in my relationships.
How am I feeling emotionally?
For example: “I am feeling overwhelmed about juggling kids and work.” or “I am excited to see so-and-so for lunch today.”
How are you feeling psychologically or mentally?
For example: “I have been thinking more negatively lately, expecting the worst to happen.” or “I’ve been feeling more confident at work lately.”
How am I feeling spiritually?
How is my relationship with my Creator? Am I continuing to find comfort in my spiritual practices?
*For those who like to journal or who are interested in growing in self-awareness and self-care, elaborating the above check-in into a writing, drawing, or painting journal or activity on a daily or weekly basis is a great creative opportunity. This can also be used as a relationship or family check-in.
““Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.”
― Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation”
Time to Care for You
After your daily check-in, brainstorm ways to provide care or compassion for yourself. Self-care and compassion can be administered in varying degrees and I encourage you to use a variety of them. Often I find people will delay self-care or compassion, saving up time or resources for one large event, expenditure, or amount of time and then are left feeling disappointed because things didn’t meet his/her expectations. Small deposits of self-care and compassion over time are healthy and beneficial to the mind, body, and spirit.
Daily Deposits of Self-care and compassion might include:
- Drinking your coffee, tea, or nonalcoholic beverage in the morning sitting down in a quiet place.
- Talking to yourself the way you would talk to a friend when something you are responsible for doesn’t go well.
- Choosing not to answer the phone for five minutes.
- Starting your day 10 minutes before anyone else is awake and connecting with your creator.
- Taking a walk.
- Offering yourself a compliment, praise and encouragement similar to what you would say to a partner, friend, child or stranger.
- Taking a nap.
- Dancing/singing/laughing
- Exercising/playing a sport
- Writing/Reading
- Doing something artistic or creative
- Saying No (or No thank you)
- Petting an animal or watering some plants or flowers
- Organizing something
- Surrounding yourself with supportive people
Now and Again Selfcare Suggestions might include:
- Buy the shoes, jersey, tickets, etc.
- Go to the game, concert, or movie
- Go on the trip
- Eat the dessert for breakfast
- Eat the dessert before or for dinner
“Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” ― Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
Wanting to work on prioritizing yourself and breaking free from exhaustion?
Lisa Finck, LPC
Lisa is a clinician at Restorative Pathways who works with clients experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, ADHD, family challenges, life adjustments and transitions, and those who have experienced trauma. She helps her clients decrease their symptoms and improve their daily lives through developing emotional regulation, coping, and positive relationship skills. She believes that counseling is a collaborative journey where you, as the client, are the expert and she joins you on your path.