This blog is not intended to be used to diagnose or treat any mental disorder. If you have mental health symptoms, please discuss them with a licensed mental health professional or your primary care physician.
Just as we clean out our homes and eliminate unnecessary items from our lives, it is important for the health of our brain, to declutter and eliminate toxic thinking.
What is a toxic thought? Toxic thoughts can be very intrusive and affect a person’s, mental and even physical health. When someone entertains toxic thoughts, they are re-wiring their brain in harmful ways.
Common toxic thoughts include:
Comparing yourself to others: Sometimes it is easy to look at someone’s version of their life on social media and think about how much better they are at life. Or you can hear your coworker or friends’ stories where they are the hero and everything is wonderful. Then you look at your own life and see the struggles, the bills, and the issues. This is toxic to our thoughts; it leaves you feeling inadequate and inferior. What you do not see is the struggle, the arguments, the bills, preparations and the messy parts of life that go on behind the scenes.
Next time you find yourself looking at someone else’s life, take a moment and consider what your life looks like on social media, or what parts of your life you display to the general public. Take time to consider the wonderful and unique moments in your life, try to see past the struggles for just a moment and enjoy the small victories, blessings, and happy times.
Dwelling on Past Mistakes: How often do you find yourself saying, “I should (not) have...”, “I wish I would (not) have...”, “I just can’t get over...”, etc... Dwelling on mistakes and issues of the past harm our ability to function now. The analogy I always like to use when I find myself or others stuck in the past, is that you cannot drive a car down the road, moving forward, while looking in the rear-view mirror. This will result in crashing your car; sabotaging your voyage (it is highly recommended to not attempt this, I promise you it will not bode well for you or your car).
Consider things you have learned from the past, and put it to good use in your present and the future. Instead of thinking of the “should’ve” and “could’ve” statements, think about what you’ve learned and how to handle it better next time. And remember, hindsight is 20/20, you made the best decisions you could with the information you had at that time - forgive yourself.
Self-Depreciating Thoughts: When we tear ourselves down, we wear ourselves down too. Do you ever have days where you wake up mentally exhausted? You can be your biggest critic, after tearing yourself down for years, it becomes really easy to see your own flaws, but not see the great and wonderful things about yourself.
Pay attention to your own self-talk, how often do you hear yourself say and think things that are critical? “I’m just stupid”, “I’m a failure…”, “I’m never going to get this…” When you notice yourself diving into this thinking, try to find a way to turn that thought around. Instead of thinking about all the things that you feel you’ve done wrong, consider the ways you’ve learned from mistakes, the progress you’ve made thus far, or the way to get better in the future – “I am not getting this at the moment, but I am working on it and I can get it.”, “I have failed this before, but I know where I went wrong, and I can do things differently”.
So… Now What? As humans, when we entertain these toxic thoughts (and many more) we are training our brain to automatically think toxically. Think about how easy it is to think negatively of yourself, and how difficult it can be to find the positive attributes you have. That is because toxic thinking has re-wired our brain. The good news is that just as your brain can be wired for the negative, it can also be re-wired for the positive! Start off each day on the right foot, combat toxic thinking and turn it around into something believably positive.
This is a big step for anyone and can be overwhelming, give yourself permission to care for yourself. Self-care is not selfish! If you need help, that is okay, seek out a counselor that can help switch those thoughts around and create healthy habits for your mind, body, and soul.
If you find the brain and the mind/body connection as fascinating as I do, be sure to check out Dr. Caroline Leaf’s blogs and podcasts for more information at: https://drleaf.com/blogs/news
After spending many years searching for my place and purpose in the world, I sought after numerous experiences and educational avenues before I found my place in counseling. I have always wanted to help empower people to overcome whatever issues they are facing. I have worked in community mental health for many years and have assisted adults experiencing a wide array of mental health related issues. I also have worked with children and adolescents in a public-school and church setting.
I am a photographer and in my free time, I also love traveling and going on adventures with my husband, and dog, Xena. I enjoy being active in community and church events and have always been excited to volunteer and support local businesses and events.